Birthday

It was the first time you had smiled that way,

the lines on your face deep and whole, but no one really noticed.

It was the candles on the cake that had made the twinkle in your eye.

I can see that now.

Between happy birthday and she’s a good fellow,

we were eager for ice-cream cake and trifle.

Caught in the moment, we passed you gifts

that didn’t really matter.

When they raised you up on their shoulders,

high and proud, your brothers’ arms

did not let you down

until the men were told they must.

The earth took you whole.

It wasn’t fair, it was said,

that you were dressed in the frock your mother preferred

when you were always one for pants and casual attire.

It wasn’t fair, it was said,

that a girl should find herself in the ground so soon.

But between mouthfuls of cake,

with the wax of twenty eight candles spilled on your mother’s best cloth,

I saw the smile that I mistook for something

other than relief.

(Image: Gregory Holm)
(It is 'Are you ok day' today, preventing suicide.)